The Relationship People, Jinglewood, Landford, Wiltshire Tel: 0800 298 5938 Email: help@therelationshipeople.co.uk
Tips for Christmas
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What’s important about Christmas?
What would change if you decided to do Christmas differently this year?
Read on...
Who is coming for Christmas?
Are you spending time with the people you love this Christmas?
Read on...
Who is coming for Christmas?
One of the major ‘stressors’ at Christmas is spending time with people it’s not easy
to be with.
Read on...
The cost of Christmas
We can all acknowledge that Christmas has become commercialised - and seems to start
earlier every year!
Read on...
Sharing the load
Leaving one person to pick up the lion’s share of the work is a recipe for exhaustion,
resentment and short tempers.
Read on...
Coping with the day
The best laid plans of mice and men do not allow for things going wrong at emotionally
charged times like Christmas.
Read on...
Who is coming for Christmas?
One of the major ‘stressors’ at Christmas is spending time with people it’s not easy to be with. You can probably think of a few people right now who you’d like to avoid this Christmas? Yet duty, compassion or loyalty to your partner will compel you to spend time with them.
Unwelcome guests?
Be honest - who are those people you really, really don’t want to spend your Christmas with? Think about them for a moment and you’ll probably realise it’s their behaviour rather than their presence that makes them less than welcome. They are the ones who:
- are clearly ungrateful for all the effort you have made
- are envious of your skills / money / spouse / home / friends / happiness / TV / stereo / crockery / cutlery/ clothes / pets / children / ...
- constantly complain about things not being right
- compare your ‘Christmas’ with much better one’s from “my days as Christmas host/ess”
- are easily offended
- don’t lift a finger to help.
Monthy Python had it right
I’m reminded of the Monty Python sketch here about living in a box in the road. If you know it you will understand, if you don’t know it take a small diversion and Google ‘Monty Python four Yorkshiremen’. You may spookily recognise one or more of the characters sitting in your living room at Christmas:
- the ones who break your best crockery if they are forced to wash up
- they insist on sitting in ‘your’ chair, “It’s my back you know dear!”
- they won’t let you watch the telly you want to see
Who are your favourite characters?
Most of us think of Christmas as a time to be with our families and a chance to catch up with people we don’t see for most of the year. It can help to think of your less than welcome guests as providing next year’s great anecdotes. Who are the characters you share Christmas with?
What about Aunty Mavis’s somewhat aromatic friend Mary, who lives next door to her. “She’ll be all alone dear”. (Apart of course from her thirty cats, who rule the house.) Mary will insist on bringing round a dubious looking sherry trifle as her ‘contribution’. It bears the unmistakable signs of having already been sampled by some of her pets and contains either untraceably small amounts of sherry or enough to put you over the drink drive limit for a week! Even after she has gone home the strange aroma lingers. Until you trace it to something she brought in on her shoe which is now tastefully smeared on the edge of the new sofa. (Thank goodness furniture sales start Boxing Day).
Or maybe it’s the monosyllabic friend of your teenage daughter, who is only interested in taking her upstairs, or snogging with her on the sofa. What if he is ‘the one’?!
And who is it important to be close to?
Your relationship with your spouse or partner often takes a back seat to accommodate all the other relationships that surface over Christmas. To make it a joyful and uplifting experience requires planning, teamwork and positive attitude of mind.
With all you have learnt about your Christmas wishes from the previous article it’s now time to continue the planning process.
Set up a meeting as before using the next FREE download. This contains useful tips and helpful suggestions to make the best of sharing your Christmas. It contains ideas on:
- How to set up the meeting
- the questions to ask each other
- a handy list to start you off
and much more to make this a Christmas you share with all the right people for all the right reasons.
And if your Christmas includes people you’d rather see less of, the exercises attached to Article 5 will help you remain calm in the face of difficult behaviour.
Christmas is a great time for strengthening and nurturing your close relationships. Are you spending time with the people you love this Christmas?
Take a deep breath now before going any further!
Help is just a mouse click away.
Use the FREE resource pack to approach the ‘who’ of Christmas in a positive and constructive
way:
- Avoid character assassinations, ‘humorous’ anecdotes and hurtful remarks about each other’s relatives or friends
- remember you’re in this together and having shared the reasons why someone must be
included, offer each other support when their behaviour stretches your good will.
There is more help to be had in our ‘coping on the day’ article and it’s accompanying resource pack)
Fill in your details to claim your FREE downloadable resource pack and exercises:
Getting to the Heart of the Issue
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