The Relationship People, Jinglewood, Landford, Wiltshire Tel: 0800 298 5938 Email: help@therelationshipeople.co.uk
Tips for Christmas
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What’s important about Christmas?
What would change if you decided to do Christmas differently this year?
Read on...
Who is coming for Christmas?
Are you spending time with the people you love this Christmas?
Read on...
Who is coming for Christmas?
One of the major ‘stressors’ at Christmas is spending time with people it’s not easy
to be with.
Read on...
The cost of Christmas
We can all acknowledge that Christmas has become commercialised - and seems to start
earlier every year!
Read on...
Sharing the load
Leaving one person to pick up the lion’s share of the work is a recipe for exhaustion,
resentment and short tempers.
Read on...
Coping with the day
The best laid plans of mice and men do not allow for things going wrong at emotionally
charged times like Christmas.
Read on...
Sharing the load this Christmas
Leaving one person to pick up the lion’s share of the work is a recipe for exhaustion, resentment and short tempers. Doing something about it is as much a matter of letting go of traditional roles and idealistic thoughts of the perfect day, as it is about noticing where you can offer that extra bit of support.
Bringing your Christmas plans to life
If you have read the earlier articles in this series, you are bound to have a great plan, complete with the list of the people you will be with and your budget all worked out to make this Christmas affordable and enjoyable.
Now it’s time to move the plan to the ‘delivery’ phase. Some of you may be surprised at how much effort goes into Christmas. Some of you won’t.
Who is doing what?
The best way to get chores done, is to make them fun. How can they be done together or shared with others? You may be shouting at the page “No one else cares!” “It’s always left to me!” You really need the FREE resource pack accompanying this article to help you sort out who does what, when and why, whether it’s just the two of you or you expect a houseful.
If there is just the two of you then the more you share the work, the more you will both enjoy Christmas. The more you enjoy Christmas, the closer you will both feel. The closer you both feel the more loving and intimate you will be. Your relationship will thank you.
Instructions to “Come and relax” may not be enough to even up the workload. Find out what is behind your partner’s need to keep going. Reap the rewards of jobs shared and done in a spirit of fun.
If you are usually the one who sits back and enjoys a peaceful time doing very little, use this Christmas as an opportunity to stretch yourself and take on a job, task or chore that has ‘traditionally’ been someone else’s. Check they are willing to let you loose on this job and negotiate the help you might need, in advance.
If you are usually the one who does everything, give other people the chance to shine this Christmas. I know they won’t do it as well as you can, may take longer and make more mess, but hey, it may free you up to try something new, which you just never had time for before.
Sharing the load
The FREE resource pack accompanying this article will help you with ways to spread the load and involve others willingly in making this a special Christmas for everyone and includes:
- How to ask for help without anyone noticing you have asked for help
- How to involve even quite small children in tidying up, including thoughts on the value of bribery!
- Considering whether some things just don’t need to be done
- The best words to use to get men to help.
And when it’s over ...
On New Year’s Day, as you review how well Christmas worked this year, it’s a good
time to think about what you might do differently in the coming year. How might you
use a similar approach to other areas of your life together: perhaps holiday planning,
birthdays, anniversaries.
(Our FREE resource packs will multi-task if you
do).
Please let me know
I’d love to receive your email with what worked really well for you, what could have been better, what you would have liked more help on. Let me know just how much fun you had this year.
Or contact us to find out how to deal with the January blues and the ‘cracks’ Christmas has exposed in your relationship.
Nigel Heath
‘Christmas Tip’
Mustering your Christmas troops and allocating jobs and special responsibilities
is fundamental to taking the stress out of Christmas and reducing the strain on your
relationship.
Getting to the Heart of the Issue
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Make it your New Year Resolution to break through to the life you want with the person you want to spend it with.
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